Personal Pronouns Are So Last Year

Personal Adjectives are the Next New Current Thing!

To be honest, it pains me to receive an email from a friend, associate, or customer and see that they have begun including their preferred pronouns at the bottom.

Whenever I have asked the sender about the sudden appearance of pronouns, the answer is invariably that the HR department insists on it. To not comply with its directives can result in unpleasant consequences.

Personally, I have never had any difficulty in recognizing a person’s gender from a city block away nor has anyone ever had that problem with me.

So to sum up the problem, the vast majority of people (i.e., +95%) only include pronouns because of coercion from employers. A tiny minority do so willingly to score virtue signaling points. Finally, there’s an even tinier group that needs to include them.

I have come up with a solution to this problem that will make everyone happy. People who need or wish to include pronouns in correspondence will remain free to do so. The other +95% can switch to including personal adjectives. The benefit of adjectives over gender pronouns is that they actually tell us something interesting about the other person.

To illustrate take a gander at my list of preferred adjectives included in my footer starting today.

Erudite, virile, Brad-Pittish, witty; tall, dark, & handsome; distinguished, loyal, trustworthy, visionary, masculine, courageous, adventurous, dreamy, desirable, scholarly, mischievous, congenial, laconic, philosophical, cuddly, indefatigable, and indomitable.

My only rule is that you always use at least one of the above in any reference to me.

Please support the next Current Thing: personal adjectives.

Your Uncle Pedro

PS BTW, if anyone asks me to use their preferred pronouns I will, as a man who was raised right, do so out of civility.

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My preferred adjectives are:

Erudite, virile, fabulous, witty; tall, dark, & handsome; distinguished, loyal, trustworthy, visionary, courageous, adventurous, dreamy, desirable, scholarly, mischievous, congenial, laconic, philosophical, cuddly, indefatigable, and indomitable.

Please use at least one in any reference to me.